How a Newlywed Couple Eats on a D.I.N.K. Salary in Tulsa, OK
Moments after our wedding ceremony on June 6, 2021.
My brother recently got my husband and I hooked on a daily email news blast called Morning Brew. I love the Brew for its mostly nonpartisan news stories and quick, interesting happenings around the world. And I really like it for the game section which often features a crossword (my fav), word scramble, or the ‘open house,’ where you get specs + pics on a Zillow listing and you have to guess how much it’s going for.
Anyway, last Monday August 15th, there was an article linked in the Brew from BonAppetit.com titled “How a 27-Year-Old Consultant Eats on $225K/Year in Washington, D.C.” Fascinated, I ate the whole thing up— pun intended.
To give you the quick summary, she basically eats out for most of her meals. And in one week, she spends over $1,000 between restaurants, cafes, and groceries.
In light of all this, I was inspired to document and share the same thing from my own perspective.
D.I.N.K., for the unfamiliar, is a colloquial slang term that stands for “Double Income, No Kids.”
To be honest, it’s kind of a stretch, even a borderline clickbait lie to call us a double income family. Sure, we don’t have kids. But I’m not actively working right now. In fact, my original title for this blog post was “How a 30-Year-Old Eats on her Husbands Salary in Tulsa, OK.” Sam wanted me to change it since I do have a small amount of residual income that comes in from some various sources every month, but its so minimal I hesitate to call it income. But I digress.
To keep in tandem with the way Bon Appétit structures their article, what follows is the breakdown of our finances, our diet, and the diary of our weekly eating habits + the spending thereof.
The Finances:
What is your occupation? Sam is a Senior Product Manager for a tech startup. I am a writer, blogger & social media influencer.
How old are you? Sam is 25, I am 30.
What city + state do you live in? Tulsa, Oklahoma.
It’s at this point in the article they would divulge salary, savings, and expenses. Because this is not anonymous, I’m not going to share all of those details.
However, I was inspired to write this not just from the cost perspective, but from the health perspective. This D.C. woman, whoever she is, eats whatever she friggin wants. She makes one comment throughout the article about her size, mainly that she is “tiny,” so I gather her genetics let her go absolutely HAM in the eating department.
Do you follow a certain diet or have any dietary restrictions? As for me and my house, we are trying eat as health-conscious as we can. Sam and I don’t follow any diet, we simply try our very darnedest to eat minimally processed foods and fill our plates with more whole foods than not. We certainly don’t do that perfectly! But we are increasingly becoming conscious of the choices we’re making and working every day towards making better ones. Neither of us is allergic nor has any specific dietary restrictions, although we certainly have our preferences— don’t come near Sam with bleu cheese and don’t even THINK about offering me olives!
Oh! And one last thing I need to mention for no other reason than it just genuinely tickled me. The anonymous D.C. woman said her favorite meal as a child was a caesar salad, filet mignon with béarnaise sauce, and creme brûlée. Go off, sis!
What are the grocery staples you always buy, if any?
Avocados
Lemons and limes
Tomatoes
Garlic
A fresh herb, usually basil or dill. Still working up the courage to start my own herb garden.
Chicken and/or salmon
Sourdough bread, you can’t take that away from me!!!
Organic whole milk. I have yet to venture into my raw milk era. I’m curious, but just not totally there yet.
I like to always have plenty of frozen veggies on hand to whip up during the week.
How often a week do you dine out versus cook at home? We eat most of our meals at home. I love grocery shopping and cooking; its my all-time favorite hobby. Trying new recipes in the kitchen has become one of my favorite marital past times.
The Diary
Here is the cost and health breakdown from a newlywed couple on a double(ish) income with no kids living a health-conscious life in the heart of the Bible belt.
Monday:
7:45 am. It’s my husbands first day at his new job so I jump out of bed to get him a cup of coffee while he showers. He prefers a simple Keurig, black, in a good sturdy mug. Moose, our 9-month-old Golden doodle needs to go outside so I sit on our back patio while he does his morning grass rolls, among other things.
Buckle up for this next bit…it’s a doozy. Around 8:30 I head to the kitchen to make myself a french press; some of our dearest friends got us 2.5 lbs of organic Montana coffee beans I’ve been aching to try. We don’t have a coffee grinder so I put some beans in my Ninja to get them as close to coarsely ground as I can best eye-ball. I put 3 tbsp of grounds in the bottom of the french press and a little over 9 oz of water in the tea kettle to heat it up. Once it whistles, I pour some over the grounds to get them to bloom. About a minute later, the rest of the water goes in, slowly. The top goes on and a 4 minute timer starts. I get both antsy about my grinding accuracy and doubtful about the directions I’m following (I don’t make french press often, clearly) and decide to plunge after only 3 minutes. Big mistake. The coffee is watery and just not good. Sadly, the drain drinks it.
By now its 8:45 and I still haven’t had a sip of that glorious morning java. I switch gears and put 1 tbsp of brown sugar at the bottom of my freshly emptied mug. Under the Nespresso it goes. Something is clearly up with my machine though; it pours my double shot extra long. It’s watery too, but I’ve already frothed milk and added vanilla extract to it (a bit too much), so in the vanilla milk goes to my watery coffee. The next problem arises when I realize that because I’ve poured in cold milk, the whole mug is lukewarm at best (you would think, in thirty years of life, I’d have figured out the simple mechanics of making a good cup of coffee). We don’t own a microwave so I fill a pot a quarter of the way with water, set my glass mug in the middle of it, and place it over my stove. 5 minutes later, its warm enough, but the convection of heat has not magically made my coffee taste much better.
I sip my coffee for a few minutes, my pride too hurt to try to just make a Keurig for myself. The drain goes 2/2 on my coffee order today.
9:45 a.m. Sam comes out after his first work meeting (he’s fully remote) so I warm up some lil smokies left over from the weekend and he eats them with a piece of buttered toast. I also make myself a piece of toast but top it with cottage cheese, sliced avocado, lemon juice, salt, and some Trader Joe’s Chili Lime Seasoning. The cottage cheese addition is really my new favorite way to eat avocado toast. It’s delicious and a great added source of protein. I’m left feeling satisfied physically but also emotionally, given the disastrous nature of my morning coffee saga.
1:00 p.m. Sam told me last week that he wanted to go to Chick-fil-A for lunch on his first day so we jump in the truck with Moose and go through our nearest CFA drive-thru. Sam gets strips with fries and a unsweet SunJoy, I get the Cobb salad with the spicy filet and an unsweet SunJoy as well. Our total comes to $22.87.
4:30 p.m. As I was on my way home from an afternoon of errands I got a text from my husband. It was a picture of the TV paused on channel 8, just in time for Jeopardy to start. According to Sam, it was the husband equivalent of sending a sexy pic. I vehemently agree. I snacked on some string cheese and an apple while watching Jeopardy.
6:00 p.m. Tonights dinner was chicken coated in extra virgin olive oil (evoo), garlic, onion, and a mixed blend of Italian seasonings cooked over the grill. I made some white rice on the stovetop and Sam roasted cauliflower over the grill in the cast iron. This was our first time making cauliflower at home and we seasoned it with evoo, salt, za’atar and paprika. 10/10, would recommend.
7:00 p.m. For the days physical activity, Sam and I go for a mile long run around our neighborhood. 11:45 pace. Not bad for a couple of amateurs with bellies full of chicken and rice.
8:30 p.m. After showering and cleaning the kitchen from dinner, I needed something to satiate my sweet tooth. Last week I made coconut milk lemon sorbet with maple syrup. I made it far too tart so tonight I grabbed what was left of the sorbet and mixed it with frozen watermelon chunks, more frozen coconut milk and a few scoops of plain greek yogurt. Not only did it cut the tartness but it turned out this perfectly, glorious pink color that made it that much more fun to eat.
Mondays total: $22.87.
Tuesday
9:30 a.m. Started the day a little later than usual but hopped over to PLNK for a 50-minute pilates class. The only thing that kept me from collapsing into my Mega former machine at any given moment was the thought of stopping at Starbucks on my way home to grab the only drink that could make up for the disaster of yesterdays coffee blunder. A grande vanilla sweet cream cold brew with only 1 pump of vanilla. As soon as class ended, I called Sam to see if I could pick up an Americano for him. Turns out, he had already ordered his and my drink, exactly how I like it, and they were waiting for me to pick up at Starbucks. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: I don’t deserve this man. Starbucks total was $8.68.
10:30 a.m. After a quick shower, I made steel cut oats plus some more lil smokies for Sam. I topped my oats with all natural peanut butter, homemade strawberry jam, maple syrup and blueberries. I’m usually a savory breakfast girl but my PB&J oats are the exception.
1:45 p.m. For lunch I warm up leftover enchiladas for Sam and make myself a leftover scramble as well. Ground turkey, sweet potato, turmeric pearl couscous (my new favorite texture) and avocado topped with Primal Kitchen non-dairy buffalo sauce. Ugly to look at, delicious to eat.
5:00 p.m. We gather with my family for an early yet belated birthday dinner for my mom at Charleston’s, a Rogers family favorite. Sam and I both get the salmon caesar salad but I box most of mine up to dive into later. Dad graciously picks up the bill for the fam.
9:30 p.m. Once home for the night, I eat the rest of my salmon caesar salad and finish off the day with some spicy episodes of Madame Secretary and a generous scoop of my lemony coconut watermelon sorbet.
Tuesdays Total: $8.68
Wednesday
9:00 a.m. Sam makes my coffee today; a Keurig with Natural Bliss sweet cream creamer. Not the cleanest option, I know, but its delicious and I drink it.
10:30 a.m. For brunch I make myself cottage cheese avocado toast again, loading up on the cc since it’s almost gone. It’s just genuinely one of the bets breakfasts ever. I make Sam avocado toast as well but he opts for feta and olive oil and eats it sandwich style, which just gives me the giggles.
12:30 p.m. I’m craving iced coffee which I have in the fridge, but I also have a few packs left from the Trader Joes Boba Kit I bought last week. Hmm…homemade coffee milk boba it is. Granted, it’s not as good as an actual boba place, but it definitely gets the job done with what I’m craving and saves me about $6, too. Although I’ve definitely capped my added sugar intake of the day.
2:00 p.m. I go for a cheese stick for a quick little snack.
4:30 p.m. Jeopardy time! And another leftover scramble in the books: ground turkey, roasted cauli, beans and rice topped with lemon juice and soy sauce.
6:00 p.m. Sam and I go for another mile run, 10:40 this time! The cooler weather really helped our time today.
8:30 p.m. We get a late dinner, I’m embarrassed to say, at Chick-fil-A. Sam gets the spicy chicken sandwich, extra pickles, medium fry. I get the classic chicken sandwich, extra pickles, medium fry. I swear we have more refined palates, but it’s just what worked for us tonight. Dinner total was $14.49.
Wednesdays Total: $14.49
Thursday
11:00 a.m. I drink water all morning, forgoing my usual coffee until after I’ve had a Hogle family favorite breakfast: pesto eggs. I fry my egg in a homemade chili onion crunch situation (evoo, garlic, chopped onion, paprika and red chili flakes) while also toasting a piece of sourdough on the skillet in olive oil as well. Once both are done, I coat my toast in a generous layer of pesto, top it with the egg, and shred some fresh parmesan on top. A true chef’s kiss.
11:30 a.m. Sam finds out I haven’t had coffee today and insists on taking me to get some. I choose Cirque, a local coffee shop with a drive-through location. We order through the app; I get the bourbon vanilla draft latte (light syrup) with oat milk. Sam gets the same but with whole milk and also a fresh blueberry muffin. I’m a happy girl. Cirque total $17.15
3:30 p.m. I have one Roma tomato left so I chop it up and add it to a bowl with shredded mozzarella and fresh basil, but not before drowning everything in extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, flaaaakey sea salt and a drizzle of balsamic glaze. One hour til Jeopardy!
5:00 p.m. The sweet treat bug bites so I once again go for the last few bites of my lemony coconut-y watermelon-y sorbet. What a week to make such a hit healthy dessert!
6:30 p.m. I realize it’s been ten days since I last went grocery shopping so we pile into the truck with Moose and drive over to Trader Joe’s right down the street. I stock up on my essentials— avocado, lemon, lime, tomatoes (grape and Roma), sweet potatoes, kale, strawberries— and also grab the fixin’s for dinner. 2 premium center cut filet mignon ($16.49) and asparagus ($2.99.) Everything else, I already have at home. I grab other items that catch my eye— peaches, tortillas, organic orange juice, organic peanut butter, and sparkling water. Trader Joes total comes to $86.67
8:30 p.m. In true Hogle family fashion, we divide and conquer the dinner duties. Sam fires up the grill as I rinse, chop and boil some yellow potatoes in slaty water. Once they’re fork-tender, I rough up the edges with a metal spoon and transfer them to a pre-warmed baking sheet where I coat them in olive oil, salt and pepper.
Sam is waiting for my go to put the filets on the grill but I have them on the counter coated in evoo, salt and pepper as they come up to room temp.
For the asparagus, I do them the Carolina Gelen way. I heat up my large skillet then add my asparagus and dry roast them for a few minutes to get a nice char. Then I add butter and diced onion, letting the onion get tender before adding chopped garlic. Once all that melds together, I add salt and turn the heat on low to keep it warm and to continue letting the onion caramelize. I add lemon juice at the end to give it all a perfect zest.
I give Sam the go to grill our steaks. I threaten to leave him (with the dirty dishes, of course) if he cooks mine above medium-rare. This he knows well, however, and grills both of our steaks to perfection.
As he’s wrapping up the grilling I turn the oven to broil in a last-ditch effort to get my potatoes as crispy as possible. We plate it all up adding freshly grated parmesan to the asparagus, garlic aioli to the potatoes, and a dash of Worcestershire to the steaks.
Since it’s a nice evening, we eat dinner on our patio under our bistro lights listening to Frank Sinatra.
Thursday’s Total: $103.82
Friday
9:00 a.m. I go for the Keurig again today and I’m happy with it. Sam offers to make me avocado toast, so sweet! Whole grain seed bread with mashed avo, salt, pepper, evoo, tomato and feta…the Sammy way.
1:00 p.m. For lunch I whip up a salmon peach kale salad. The salmon has been thawing since yesterday but I run it under cold water to get it nice and room temp-y. While that’s going and the oven is preheating to 400, I combine avocado oil, honey, minced garlic, salt, pepper, paprika and cayenne to a bowl and mix it all up. I place the salmon on a baking sheet and pour the delicious spicy honey mixture on top. It roasts for 15 minutes then broils for 4.
I plate up the kale, add the roasted salmon, and top it with chopped walnuts and diced peaches. Sam requests feta and I agree. Pairing this salad with a mango orange Spindrift was really the move. Trés delicious.
4:00 p.m. Ol’ Sammy boy wants an iced coffee so we shimmy on down to Starbucks and get ourselves chocolate cream cold brews. A tall for me, a grande for him. Coffee total is $11.39.
7:30 p.m. It’s date night! I made us a reservation a few days ago at a brand new Nordic Kitchen restaurant concept on Brookside called Freya.
For a shareable, we go with the waitress-recommended Mushroom & Goat Cheese bake served with rye crisps ($16). We gobble it up; it’s very creamy and decadent. We’re also starving. We debated on the entrees, wanting to try authentic and unique dishes so we opt for the Swedish Meatballs— egg pasta, classic sauce, caramelized onion, lingonberry jam & pickled cucumber slices ($23) and the Hasselback Chicken— herbed goat cheese, asparagus velouté, & puff pastry ($31).
The chicken is, sadly, not good. Dry, unseasoned, and the asparagus velouté was just a flavorless green watery sauce. As someone who worked in the restaurant industry for 10 years in every position from server to management, I disagree with my many millennial and Gen- Z counterparts who praise the idea of never sending anything back for fear of making someone “feel bad” or for “causing a scene.” The truth is, no one benefits from just sucking it up and stomaching a bad meal. When you’re honest and kind about the experience you’re having, not only do you get to switch it out for something you’ll actually enjoy, but your feedback can often make things better for the industry. Sure, it’s a little uncomfortable, but it’s worth it.
So, we send the chicken back and both share the Swedish meatballs. They’re pretty good…I wish the onions had a true caramelization on them and the noodles were less bland. But the meatball is the deserving star of the show: get a bit of meatball on your fork with lingonberry jam followed by a kick of pickle and you have a really satisfying bite.
The atmosphere of Freya is excellent; all of your minimal Scandi design dreams come true in the space, and I was jealous of the staffs cool aprons. Everyone we interacted with was wonderfully kind, although I wish a little more knowledgeable on the menu. For dessert we opt for the Blueberry Custard Tart— lemon crème, pickled blueberries and candied seeds ($9). They were right to call it a tart! I enjoyed how the tartness made you forget that it’s less sweet than you’d expect; a surprise I appreciated.
We’re excited to come back again and try some different menu options.
Our total meal with tax and tip was $85.60.
Friday total: $96.99
Saturday
8:45 a.m. Sam is going on an 16-mile bike ride with my brother (as he runs) while he trains for the London marathon so we swing through our Saturday morning staple, New York Bagel Cafe. He gets a plain bagel, toasted, with cream cheese and a latte ($9.27). I hold off until after my morning pilates class to get breakfast.
9:30 a.m. My bi-weekly PLNK class was so hard I wanted to genuinely yell at the woman who was causing me pain and cuss her out. I didn’t. But I did stop at Starbucks on my way home to get my usual grande vanilla sweet cream cold brew (one less vanilla) and the bacon & gruyere egg bites. Total was $10.35.
1:00 p.m. We help some friends move into our neighborhood (YAY!) They get CFA for the crew… Sam eats a strip meal with fries but I literally refuse to get CFA again this week for fear that all 2 of you reading this will judge me. So I wait until we get home to make myself a kale salad like the one I made yesterday only I add avocado and couscous and sub goat cheese instead of feta.
6:00 p.m. I grab a colby cheese stick before heading out the door to my in-laws for dinner and hangs.
7:00 p.m. At my in-laws we gather for a fun family dinner around grilled brats, fresh fruit, sweet potato fries and Lays chips, and watching my sister in laws new puppy while he plays.
Saturday’s Total $19.62
Sunday
9:45 a.m. We stop by the church cafe before service since we have some free drink coupons. I get a vanilla latte, Sam gets a cappuccino.
11:30 a.m. After church Sam and I go to our favorite weekend brunch spot, Wild Fork in Utica. We sit in the bar area since there’s never a wait and Alex, the bartender, knows us. I get my usual, the Two-Egg Breakfast ($10.95)— eggs over-medium, crispy bacon, cheese grits and an english muffin with butter and strawberry jam. To me, it’s the perfect breakfast. Sam gets another favorite, the Wild Fork B.L.T ($13.95)— applewood smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato, and chipotle aioli on wheat with fries and their homemade herbed ranch that’s so good you’d be tempted to drink it (no, I do NOT know from experience!) Our total after tax and tip comes to $60.42.
4:30 p.m. Sam and I are hosting a dinner party tonight with my brother, sister in law, and our mutual friends who just moved into our neighborhood. We’re having personalized grilled pizzas and the Hogles are getting all the food. I hop on over to Reasor’s to get all the topping options: jalapeño, pepperoni, mozzarella, goat cheese, tomato, pineapple, and of course the pizza dough & pizza sauce. I could have made the dough & sauce at home but I really wasn’t feeling like making it all from scratch, so store bought it was. While there I also picked up some other things that looked good to eat throughout the week— thick cut bacon, canned beets, cottage cheese (yay!) more lemons, and a good jar of extra virgin olive oil. I also sneak into Whole Foods to get a bag of organic Arugula. Groceries total $81.16.
5:45 p.m. Sam and I get hungry ahead of dinner so we have a small bowl of salsa with blue corn tortilla chips to tide us over.
6:00 p.m. I know I want caramelized onions on my pizza so I chop up the onions and throw them in the pan with olive oil and butter. Ah, what a divine smell. “Alexa, play french cafe music.”
7:00 p.m. Dinner party time! For my grilled pizza, I go for a simple olive oil base topped with chopped garlic, goat cheese, arugula, peaches, honey, caramelized onions and balsamic glaze. It’s utterly delicious to the point where I don’t know how I could ever pay for a lesser pizza again. What a way to end the week!
Sunday’s Total $141.58
Our food & beverage total is $408.05 for the week.